Village elders perform rituals to preserve the dwarfs body for his journey to the afterlife and task the adventurers with taking him to his family in the dwarven city of Galatia in the northern mountains. As the final witnesses to his bravery, the halfling, Druid, and Treeclimbing wizard can help his family grieve and soul rest in Valhalla by recounting his final brave moments in the dwarven hall.Joining them are:
Bellows Mudpot, dwarven blacksmith
Kenneth of Roger, a gambler
Clyde and Bailey. One’s an outlaw fleeing some kind of justice and one a soldier in the local militia.
First stop = the sacred tree where the faithful tie stick puppets, quartz crystals, dreamcatchers, etc. Bellows spots it first and yells something about damn witches, crosses himself and tosses salt around. As part of her training, the druidess Eloise or whatever her damn name be tied a gods eye, which is still there. A bit of slapstick with one of the new guys losing a bet about climbing the tree and then throwing stones at a shiny object in the trees, despite the Druid’s warning it would be bad luck. It was.
Later along the trail they see a mother bear feeding on salmon running upstream (so it must be spring, when everything is mud luscious and puddle wonderful and the goat legged Pan man goes piping far and wee.) They hang back, hoping not to disturb her, looking for another way around. Cameltoe the halfling and one of the new guys try climbing some rocks that seem to go in the right direction. The new guy doesn’t realize how light Camz is, so when he tries giving him a boost, he accidentally tosses the halfling really high and he falls very hard, possibly giving himself a concussion. Meanwhile, the bear wanders off to the woods to sleep, someone notices, and the journey continues.
The group stops to rest near a very cute cottage and enclosed garden. Clyde pretends to take a piss behind a tree and sneaks off toward the garden. Hannah Montana the druidess of many names spots him and discretely follows As he sneaks through the garden, he accidentally steps on a skunk, gets sprayed, loses his temper and curses loudly. This disturbs the dog behind the cottage (who was playing with a couple of kids) and granny inside. Clyde whistles and pretends, rather badly, that there’s nothing happening here, just looking at flowers. Granny yells at him to leave, and he is overtaken by a powerful wave of Id better damn well do what she says. In need of tomato juice to clean the smell and unable to persuade Annabelle Lee to cast a summon tomato spell, poor Clyde just smells awful.
They make camp. About 1:30 am, Bellows is on guard duty and sees a large creature fly over with the distinct shape of dragon wings, so he wakes everyone. Soon there is a blood curdling death neigh and a powerful dragons roar. Poor Clyde was forced to sleep with the mule and dwarf corpse because he stank. Shocked into wakefulness by such horrid sounds, he tries to roll away from the dragon and over the river bank to relative safety. No such luck. The dragon slices his throat with a wing and flies off with the mule carcass. Beyoncé druidissimo sees it all and is absolutely horrified by such a cruel, unnatural creature. A terrified party loots the corpse and then sleeps soundly save Faulklore, who is both upset with himself for not getting out of his tent to see it and feverish at the thought of such a magnificent magical creature. He wished they could have talked all night about magic.
And the evening and the morning were the first day of the journey. Appendix gamma litry extra = As I Lay Dying.